Who is Elaine Tham?

Turning 35: Shifting From Hard Work to the Wealth Mindset for a Fulfilling Life

This year, I’ve turned 35. Suddenly, one day, upon waking up, I felt as if my life was missing many things and also felt that life had become duller and more boring. I couldn’t find things that made me happy. I’ve also reflected a lot. In the past, I always worked hard, continuously striving, and eventually climbed higher and earned more than my peers.

However, for some reason, I slowly felt that I had fewer friends around me because occasionally I felt that our fundamental values didn’t align. But fate also gave me opportunities to meet some very successful people, with whom I found common ground in our values, even though I sometimes felt outclassed. Although they didn’t look down on me and we got along well, I realised that my spending power was far less than theirs. So, for us, the middle class, who started from scratch, it seems we’re not quite at the top but not at the bottom either.

Suddenly, I had a life-changing idea and decided to do things I had always wanted to do but hadn’t dared to because of various constraints.

And in this life, I’ve also learned a lot. For instance, some say that to have the life of a rich person, you need to think like one. But after looking at many cases, I found that ordinary people are mistaken! They confuse “the extravagance of the rich” with “the mindset of the rich.” It’s not about wearing designer clothes or driving sports cars to blend into high society and become successful; that would only lead to debt! Instead, having the mindset of the rich means constantly thinking about how to make money and having the opportunity to communicate with the wealthy, which could lead to getting the resources you want. Also, I’ve realised that organising one’s thoughts is very difficult. For example, when we lack confidence and energy, our inner demons make us step back and not dare to try.

So, I started to learn from some successful people, which first involved changing my circle of friends and reducing my time with those who were negative. I found this to be very effective. For example, I’ve always been around workers who worry about debt every month and fear losing their jobs. Occasionally, they would ask me for solutions. I found that whenever I helped them, I felt exhausted and would lose confidence, letting my own energy be drained. So, I realised I often engaged in thankless tasks, which also hindered my own progress.

35岁的转变：从努力工作到富有思维，迈向充实生活

今年，我已经35岁了，突然那天一觉醒来，感觉这一生好像缺乏了很多东西，而且也感觉生活好像变得乏味越来越闷，也找不到开心的事情。而且也回想了很多，过去的日子我终是努力地工作，不停地奋斗，也终于比同龄人爬得高，赚钱也比较多。 可是不懂为什么，慢慢地觉得身边的朋友越来越少，因为偶尔会觉得三观不合。但上天也给了我机会，有机会与一些大佬见面，发现三观正合，可以终有一些高攀的感觉。虽然别人不嫌弃，而且我们也聊得来，可是当消费的时候却发现自己远远低于他们。所以当我们这些普通家庭，白手起家的中产阶层，正是比上不足，比下有余。

所以我突然有个改变人生的想法，决定了要去做些一直以来因为各式各样的约束，而不敢做的事。 而且在这一生中也领悟了许多，比如有人说要有富人的生活那么才会有富人的思维，可是我看了很多案例，发现普通人都误会了！其实大家混淆了 “富人的挥霍，和，富人的思维”。不是说你穿名牌，驾跑车，就会混上流社会而发达，这反而会让你负债！反而你有富人的思维，就会无时无刻想着怎么样赚钱，也会跟富人有交流的机会，那么才有可能得到想要的资源。而且我也发现，要整理思维也是一件很难的事，比如每个人心里都有个恶魔，当不够自信与不够能量的时候，就会让自己退一步而不敢尝试。 所以我就跟着一些成功人士学习，就是首先换掉自己的朋友圈，先减少与能量低的人在一起。我发现这真的很有效，比如我身边一直存在那些打工族，每个月还在为债务烦恼，也担心丢失工作，偶尔也会问我解决方案，我发现每当我去帮助了他们，我都感觉到很累，而且还会失去信心，让自己的能量被掏空。所以我发现自己经常做些吃力不讨好的事，而且也因此耽误了自己。